Swedengate: When commensality norms collide

This chapter is a case study of #Swedengate, a social media controversy evoked by the supposedly Swedish custom not to invite children's playmates to partake in the family dinner. The practice seems to be in direct confrontation with norms of commensality and reciprocity, and the chapter deals with the cultural context and implications of the practice. The empirical material is an open-ended questionnaire from the Folklife archives at Lund University with 400 responses. The respondents, with first-hand knowledge from their childhood, show a multitude of attitudes to the custom, ranging from anger and despair to a sense of relief at not having to eat strange food with other people. The rationale behind the practice was to guard the family dinner as a time to build the family and structure everyday life. The roots of the custom are traced to peasant society, with its restrictions on spontaneous dinner invitations and the social contract of the welfare state, where independence was an overarching principle. The chapter concludes that commensality is difficult to organize, and the intentions and outcomes of commensal practices can be very different. Meals are emotional, and tools for silent communication, where the silence and tacit knowledge of practices, may lead to unintended cultural clashes. Finally, norms of commensality are in constant transition but rooted in previous generations’ habits and values.